I got up to sharpen a pencil. As I sharpened my no.2 pencil with my sharpener, I pictured a samurai waving his sword around, thrashing to get the job done. The pencil lead kept snapping, twice to be exact.
I though of the blacksmith, who worked, concentrated on foraging a unique sword for the samurai. The pencil lead did not snap, I got a good-looking pencil.
Blogging about things and things..
Showing posts with label blogging my day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging my day. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
[6:12PM] Dinnertime!
Om nom nom fried rice, it was yummy.
After dinner, and watching the goldfish with Julie, Julie got the idea to bake something.
Meanwhile as the thing baked in the oven, I ate a watermelon slice with a spoon, which reminded me of how Frankie ate his watermelons : with a spoon.
"Eating watermelon with a spoon, like a little kid e_e", Julie told me.
After dinner, and watching the goldfish with Julie, Julie got the idea to bake something.
Meanwhile as the thing baked in the oven, I ate a watermelon slice with a spoon, which reminded me of how Frankie ate his watermelons : with a spoon.
"Eating watermelon with a spoon, like a little kid e_e", Julie told me.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Yesterday was Saturday 5/5/2012
At 10:45am, my sister's friend, Christian, picked us up and drove us to Heroes comic bookstore for Free Comic Book Day. My sister got a copy of The Avengers and I too got a copy, alongside The Transformers Regeneration One all for free.
Next, we went to Barners and Nobles, browsing around for the majority of the time. I picked up and read a copy of Let's Pretend This Never Happened, I found it to be a good-humored book, but sadly, I couldn't buy it no matter how much I wanted to continue reading it. I still have plenty of books to read at home, A Clockwork Orange, The Catcher in the Rye, Pride and Prejudice, and Peter Pan.
We spent a lot of time flipping through magazines too. I got a copy of U.S. News's The American Revolution.
I offered to pay for it, but Christian payed for it, which I'm grateful for.
Lastly, we went out to lunch at Chipotle.
Next, we went to Barners and Nobles, browsing around for the majority of the time. I picked up and read a copy of Let's Pretend This Never Happened, I found it to be a good-humored book, but sadly, I couldn't buy it no matter how much I wanted to continue reading it. I still have plenty of books to read at home, A Clockwork Orange, The Catcher in the Rye, Pride and Prejudice, and Peter Pan.
We spent a lot of time flipping through magazines too. I got a copy of U.S. News's The American Revolution.
I offered to pay for it, but Christian payed for it, which I'm grateful for.
Lastly, we went out to lunch at Chipotle.
Friday, April 20, 2012
4/20/2011 - Pieces of my Day
Today was the the last day of Star Testing. Before getting into the test, the vice principle gave an announcement on the loudspeaker, "Good luck and may the odds be in your favor."
The Hunger Games much? Kinda scary, as though we're to compete through the survival of the fittest and survive the test (haha).
In 2nd period, we watched the film, BBC's "Life" (disc 1).
It was AMAZING.
Here's a clip of the Sarcastic Fringehead Fish :
In 4th period, we started watching the film, "Schindler's List", which had something to do with Nazis stripping away the Jew's right's (aka Nuremberg Laws) and Schindler doing scandalous things to the Jewish people.
[3:35pm]
After a visit to Mister Seeberger, I headed home to deal with some business.
I straight up broke up with Danial. The relationship lasted for almost a month, it was nicely slow paced, but I had no fancy feelings for him. He practically was infatuated with me, but I didn't feel the same way. Overall, the relationship was going nowhere, so I decided to end it. I had a choice, it was now or never and the sooner the better.
[4-something-pm]
Julie and I worked on math-stuff. Julie studied algebra and I did my geometry homework on finding the area of a n-gon.
Monday, March 12, 2012
6th Period PE 3/12/2012
Finally, after the long wait for the construction to come to an end and receiving the lockers, from here on out--dressing out for PE. Woo-hoo! I'm glad!
Checking out guys in shorts! :D
"Pervert.", my friend, Carolina said.
"Hehe!", I laughed, glancing over at David's slightly-hairy legs. > u >
First, we did stretches, sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks, jogs in place, and jumping from side-to-sides.
Then, we ran two laps outside of the track, because the Freshmen had the track today.
Running on the cement made the soles of my feet sore, but its okay! It was certainly a great workout.
Lastly, after a little rest, we did sit-ups,push-ups, and planks on the football field. The sun beamed beating the heat through the clouds. It was AMAZING, even the tiring parts. I like everything, especially learning from my experiences.
To see where I am in PE now, I'm working out at home even more.
More tai chi, yoga, squats,and stretches!
Checking out guys in shorts! :D
"Pervert.", my friend, Carolina said.
"Hehe!", I laughed, glancing over at David's slightly-hairy legs. > u >
First, we did stretches, sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks, jogs in place, and jumping from side-to-sides.
Then, we ran two laps outside of the track, because the Freshmen had the track today.
Running on the cement made the soles of my feet sore, but its okay! It was certainly a great workout.
Lastly, after a little rest, we did sit-ups,push-ups, and planks on the football field. The sun beamed beating the heat through the clouds. It was AMAZING, even the tiring parts. I like everything, especially learning from my experiences.
To see where I am in PE now, I'm working out at home even more.
More tai chi, yoga, squats,and stretches!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
I need to get to class dammit.
Prologue here.
So these past couple of days, I've been told by a schoolmate that has friend likes me. A few other schoolmates join in, telling me to wait for him at passing bell, he really wants to see me.
Look here though, we've never met before, nor spoken to one another. We've never even had classes together either. He just sees me around campus.
" Secret admirer ", my art teacher labeled him for me.
" Yup, secret admirer. ", I sighed, thinking how ridiculous this is.
--
[ Today ]
I'll wait for him for one minute, only one minute, for sure,for sure, if he doesn't come, I'm leaving.
The bell in 5th period rang for passing bell, six minutes on the dot has now begun.
" 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..", I crossed my arms.
Seconds later, " 60. "
I swung my bag over my shoulder, stepping towards the door.
" Its been a minute, now I'm leaving! "
" -? What is it (why were you counting)? ", my friend looked at me.
" Oh, some douche bag, named Steve, likes me and I've never met 'em before! So, here I am waiting a minute for him, because some schoolmates told me to wait. This is so stupid. " , I pouted as some boy walked into the room.
" This Steve? ", Christine pressed her hand against him, pushing him out of the way.
" I think so", I turned to look at him.
" Hi Steve!", Christine said.
I looked at him, with a " :I " -expression, then left the room.
" Tammy! ", a schoolmate shouted, dragging me back into the room, "Steve walked in there! Didn't you see him?!"
" Yea--", I wasn't able to finish.
"Steve! This is Tammy, the girl I was talking to you about!", her arm was hooked around mine, I struggled to pull away.
" I need to get to class! I have PE next! "
He gave me an awkward look, not even a greeting, but there was no time for a ' Hello ' anyways.
I pulled away and sped out of the room.
' Looks like one of those average Asian guys to me. Reminds me of Frankie, because of his height,
but Frankie-kun is better. '
I sped off to class with 4 minutes left.
--
After school, I told my art teacher what happened.
He hypothesized, based on how this-so-called 'Steve' acted, gave the impression that he was shy.
" To shy to take action, what a wimp ", I huffed.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
12/17/2011 - My Yesterday After School
I didn't have the time to type this up yesterday, so I'll do it right now.
[ After School ]
12:34pm - I organized the desks in Ms.Sabado's classroom.
I received a Christmas present from Ms.Sabado! > u <
On the present, it read,
" Dear Tammy,
Merry Christmas!!!
Thanks for helping every afternoon! You are a great help and an angel too!
[ After School ]
12:34pm - I organized the desks in Ms.Sabado's classroom.
I received a Christmas present from Ms.Sabado! > u <
On the present, it read,
" Dear Tammy,
Merry Christmas!!!
Thanks for helping every afternoon! You are a great help and an angel too!
Love,
Ms.Sabado "
Hah..I'm not an angel, only a mere human .
But, I'm happy. It was really thoughtful of her to give me a present.
After that, I bade her farewell 'til January 3rd, and Happy Holidays. I went to visit Mister Seeberger in the Draw/Paint room.
Good news! He finally got to chat with his lady-friend, who wants to speak with him today, at 9pm.
I wish him good luck!
We later went downstairs to his animation room, since students wanting to get work in (at the very last minute) were waiting.
Outside the Draw/Paint class, I encountered Israel-senpai.
We made one-second eye-contact, I turned away and carried a large bag of bread downstairs.
I greeted Jasmine-chan at the door, who was waiting for Mister Seeberger to find her assignments. We talked a little bit, until Mister Seeberger was ready to go upstairs for the last time, searching for her assignments.
Downstairs again, I got to look at his animation classes' work. It was very amusing!
Lastly, he showed me some strategic games (mainly board games, but not the kind that you buy in the toy-isle in stores). I found this interesting, especially the survival game-themed ones.
I bade him farewell at 2:40pm and wished him good luck with his relationship with Laureen.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
12/6/2011 - Brunch, Lunch, and After School
[ Brunch ]
I met up with Israel-senpai. We greeted one another and I shared my Facebook comments from the chat between him and my sister (who hijacked my seat) on 11/30/2011.
He then informed me that he might or might not come after school.
" Don't make such a concerned face! Its okay! "
" I just don't want this (referring to the FB chat) to happen again! " , he exclaimed.
After that, I read him my thoughts and dreams . Every once in a while, I leaned over to the side to check his energy field. It was very strong, I'd say that its positive energy radiating off of him, but he still felt concerned.
I think I overdid my reading..NAH.
But, overall--things are going well for him and I'm happy.
At 10:10am, he left to go to the quad.
" See you later Tammy, take care-- I might come after school! "
" You don't have to! "
I said this, even though I really wanted to see him.
He looked back at me, the expression on his face read, ' I want to see you. '
Probably because he felt bad, I guess he pities me ಠ_ಠ
" See you later, take care! " , I called back.
But, I'm happy to see that he came by.
On my way to class, I thought about my daily horoscope (click for full view) :
" I may be feeling lonely today..but its okay, because I'm going to do my best. ", I thought to myself and smiled.
[ Lunch ]
I greeted Colleen-chan, Judy-chan, and Crystal-chan.
Judy-chan is off of her crutch now, I congratulated her on her recovery.
I'm happy.
[ After school ]
Because of the code red drill earlier today, all of the books where piled in the back far-left corner bookshelf. It took a total of 20 minutes to organized the textbooks and workbooks.
" Thank you Tammy, you're such an angel ", Ms.Sabado commented.
" I'm not an angel, I'm only human after all " , I smiled , " -And your welcome. "
[3 : 25pm ]
I sat outside, on the usual bench, the deciduous tree to my left. 99.3% of its leaves have now fallen, leaving a majority of its red berries. A few minutes later, Mister Seeberger came by.
We talked about how our days were going, then he bade farewell at a little past 4pm.
I sat there 'til 5pm.
The setting sky was wondrous with pink clouds, a dim light blue sky and a nearly-full moon up above in the East. The setting sun was towards the west, glowing 'til it sleeps, casting silhouettes before my eyes.
My walking came to a small trot home. My toes were numbed, my wings throbbed.
I'm not sad, angry, or upset. Just disappointed, but happy.
I smiled.
Monday, December 5, 2011
12/5/2011 - My Day - Meiosis vs Mitosis
Today is the day where I deliver early Christmas gifts (i.e. decorative origami cubes) to my teachers!
Alright! I'm going to do my best!
[ Morning ]
I tied my hair up in twin tails at the back of my head.
[ At school ]
I greeted Crystal-chan and Janus-chan. Janus-chan showed me pictures of her father's drawings on her phone. They mostly revolved around Disney characters like the lions from " The Liod King " , Mickey&Minnie Mouse, and ect. It was awesome! :D
I later greeted Colleen-chan and Han-kun. Han-kun and I later walked to class, talking about my well-being revolving around my abdominal pain.
[ 1rst pd ] There was a substitute.
Essay (test) . The prompt was to provide information on why / how moments in history influence today's world (giving examples).
After class, I had the substitute pick out three cubes for Mister Guven, leaving a note stating that I gave him the cubes as presents.
[ 2nd pd ]
At the doorway (before walking into class), I had Mister Castanos pick out three origami cubes. He commented that they were beautiful :D
We went over the ' Do Now ' / Warm Up, Mister Castanos talked about his weekend and how he celebrates Christmas. At Costco, Mister Castanos and his grandmother in a wheelchair , he rams his grandmother in line at the checkout counter (lol wut). He celebrates Christmas with used socks as Christmas stockings and he describes people who don't wait 'til Christmas day to open their presents, as crazy disrespectful children LOL.
We watched a section of a biology film on meiosis (the division of sex cells). There was this one scene where they were showing the difference between meiosis and mitosis.
It looked like this :
Alright! I'm going to do my best!
[ Morning ]
I tied my hair up in twin tails at the back of my head.
[ At school ]
I greeted Crystal-chan and Janus-chan. Janus-chan showed me pictures of her father's drawings on her phone. They mostly revolved around Disney characters like the lions from " The Liod King " , Mickey&Minnie Mouse, and ect. It was awesome! :D
I later greeted Colleen-chan and Han-kun. Han-kun and I later walked to class, talking about my well-being revolving around my abdominal pain.
[ 1rst pd ] There was a substitute.
Essay (test) . The prompt was to provide information on why / how moments in history influence today's world (giving examples).
After class, I had the substitute pick out three cubes for Mister Guven, leaving a note stating that I gave him the cubes as presents.
[ 2nd pd ]
At the doorway (before walking into class), I had Mister Castanos pick out three origami cubes. He commented that they were beautiful :D
We went over the ' Do Now ' / Warm Up, Mister Castanos talked about his weekend and how he celebrates Christmas. At Costco, Mister Castanos and his grandmother in a wheelchair , he rams his grandmother in line at the checkout counter (lol wut). He celebrates Christmas with used socks as Christmas stockings and he describes people who don't wait 'til Christmas day to open their presents, as crazy disrespectful children LOL.
We watched a section of a biology film on meiosis (the division of sex cells). There was this one scene where they were showing the difference between meiosis and mitosis.
It looked like this :
To the side of ' Meiosis ', there was an image of turtles having intercourse.
Lastly, we took notes on meiosis and read from the textbook. Mister Castanos criticized the way the couple looked in the book. " They don't know us, so its okay ", he said.
o__o
[ Brunch ]
Chatted with Judy-chan about how the essay went and about geometry.
[ 3rd pd ]
Worksheet on careers.
At the end of class, I had Mrs.Haertling pick three origami cubes according to her liking.
[ 4th pd ] Before class started, I had Mister Herning chose three origami cubes to his liking.
Studied flash cards.
[ Lunch ]
Because the students had wasted about 5 minutes of Mister Herning's time, we stayed in during lunch for about three minute ( he was going easy on us ).
I later had Judy-chan read through my journal as I sat and thought about things. When she had finished reading, we discussed her holiday plans.
[ 5th pd ]
I had Mrs.Shika and Ms.Sabado choose three origami cubes to their liking. Mrs.Shika told me how my origami had inspired her children to paper-fold too. She told me that they fold paper in all sorts of directions and call it " their origami " (haha! > u <)
They both found the origami cubes to be beautiful, I'm glad.
[ 6th pd ] I greeted Crystal-chan on my way to class, I'm glad her day is going well :)
I gave Mrs.Miramontes the last three origami cubes. She complimented that the cubes were very nice.
YOSH! All of the cubes have now been delivered!
( in total, there were 21 of them )
In the gym, I wrote a little bit into my journal before handing it over to Carolina-chan to read.
[ After School ]
" Time to have a nice afternoon! I got Christmas presents to work on and the comic!
I finally get to work on the comic! "
Note : the comic that I've been working on has been constantly postponed due to stuff.
" I can tell that you're very eager ", Carolina-chan replied.
" Yup! "
After I bade farewell 'til tomorrow to Carolina-chan and Crystal-chan, I later encountered Israel-senpai in the hall. He had a slight concerned expression scribbled in his eyes,
" Tammy, I can't meet up with you after school since I have -- "
" Its okay! ", I grinned back gesticulating him to be off on his way (i.e. I made a fluttering wave with my hand).
" I'm (really) sorry-- bye. "
By then, my back was turned away from him and I was walking away, grinning like a dithering idiot,
taking no heed to his expression--
until later as I was cleaning Ms.Sabado's classroom.
I kept pausing and thinking as I stacked the textbooks and workbooks.
Why-? How could I smile like its nothing, when I did feel something.
That is because I was happy, but disappointed that we couldn't meet up.
Prologue note : Last night, I felt the numbness of static rupture within myself. I tried to think of all of the positive, bright things, memories, but I couldn't feel anything.
I laid in bed (on my lack), meditating three deep hymns and thought deeply to myself about my cherishes.
The majority of the numbness was eliminated.
I was just happy to hear his voice.
Negative news, but the numbness I felt somewhere inside melted away.
Friday, December 2, 2011
12/2/2011 - How my After School at School was Spent
In the gym, after I bade farewell to Diane-senpai, I padded over to Crystal-chan and Carolina-chan.
I wanted to see them off before I went to enjoy the rest of my day & weekend, because they're my dear friends. Their main plans for the weekend is homework, but even so, I hope they have a wonderful weekend.
On my way over to Ms.Sabado's, Israel-senpai informed me that he was unable to meet up with me after school due to some circumstances. I smiled back and said that it was okay.
He advised me not to go home so late. Hmph. ಠ_ಠ
I cleaned Ms.Sabado's classroom for about 6 minutes, she said that it was Friday and that I should go enjoy my weekend. I went outside, looking at the deciduous tree, it had now lost 89% of its leaves, leaving a majority of red berries clinging to its branches. I checked my watch, then decided to go visit Mister Seeberger.
Mister Seegberger greeted me with a slightly surprised expression, " Oh--Hi! I was just thinking about if you were going to stop by today!"
" What a coincidence! ", I replied.
That feeling when you think of someone and they magically appear, its almost like they heard your thoughts and came over to you.
I honestly sometimes do that to call out / contact someone.
I wonder if they can really hear me or if my voice is drowned out by their world, because I'm not a person worth their love.
This made me think of the time when I was sitting on that bench after school, during a chilly afternoon, calling out with a voice in my chest to that guy that I'm constantly waiting for.
When I was on my way to head for home, feeling down that he did not come---
we crossed paths.
He described it as, " instinct", that lead him to me.
Anyways, Mister Seeberger and I shared our experiences from the 5-day weekend (i.e. Thanksgiving Break) . Haha-- he told me a joke he made up contributing to Black Friday.
It starts out with Black Friday, then Grey Saturday, lastly White Sunday.
" Then, Golden Monday! ", I added. :D
We talked of other things, like plans over Christmas vacation, Star Wars, how very identical his eight-year old son is to him (its in the DNA after all), his two pet dogs that costed $800 (were bred and were trained for dog shows) that will be given to his ex (sadly), and how his low income has effected the amount of money per month to buy food.
I hope all goes well for him in the near future.
[Home at Last]
I made it home at 4:20pm.
I wanted to see them off before I went to enjoy the rest of my day & weekend, because they're my dear friends. Their main plans for the weekend is homework, but even so, I hope they have a wonderful weekend.
On my way over to Ms.Sabado's, Israel-senpai informed me that he was unable to meet up with me after school due to some circumstances. I smiled back and said that it was okay.
He advised me not to go home so late. Hmph. ಠ_ಠ
I cleaned Ms.Sabado's classroom for about 6 minutes, she said that it was Friday and that I should go enjoy my weekend. I went outside, looking at the deciduous tree, it had now lost 89% of its leaves, leaving a majority of red berries clinging to its branches. I checked my watch, then decided to go visit Mister Seeberger.
Mister Seegberger greeted me with a slightly surprised expression, " Oh--Hi! I was just thinking about if you were going to stop by today!"
" What a coincidence! ", I replied.
That feeling when you think of someone and they magically appear, its almost like they heard your thoughts and came over to you.
I honestly sometimes do that to call out / contact someone.
I wonder if they can really hear me or if my voice is drowned out by their world, because I'm not a person worth their love.
This made me think of the time when I was sitting on that bench after school, during a chilly afternoon, calling out with a voice in my chest to that guy that I'm constantly waiting for.
When I was on my way to head for home, feeling down that he did not come---
we crossed paths.
He described it as, " instinct", that lead him to me.
Anyways, Mister Seeberger and I shared our experiences from the 5-day weekend (i.e. Thanksgiving Break) . Haha-- he told me a joke he made up contributing to Black Friday.
It starts out with Black Friday, then Grey Saturday, lastly White Sunday.
" Then, Golden Monday! ", I added. :D
We talked of other things, like plans over Christmas vacation, Star Wars, how very identical his eight-year old son is to him (its in the DNA after all), his two pet dogs that costed $800 (were bred and were trained for dog shows) that will be given to his ex (sadly), and how his low income has effected the amount of money per month to buy food.
I hope all goes well for him in the near future.
[Home at Last]
I made it home at 4:20pm.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
12/1/2011 - My Day - Scarves of Happiness
Today is the day I deliver the scarves!
[Morning]
Julie says that for every time I'm home late (4pm is the limit), she'll move one thing in my room.
[ At school ]
I greeted Janus-chan and Crystal-chan. I delivered the purple scarf to Crystal-chan, I'm glad that she liked it.
Janus-chan told me that her father used to make artistic creations and drawings; she'll show some of them to me tomorrow. I later gave Colleen-chan her blue scarf. By coincidence, she was also wearing a scarf. I'm glad that she also liked the gift.
She said that she'll disguise the blue scarf with her scarf, so then she wouldn't get caught. xD
I later met up with Han-kun and told him what happened yesterday on our way to 1rst pd.
[ 1rst pd ]
We did an in-class practice essay.
[ 2nd pd ]
Mister Castanos repeated this dumb joke to help us remember mitosis,
" My sister and I were dancing and she stepped on my toe, I say,
' Ow, you stepped on my toe sis ' . "
( Words underlined sound like the word, " mitosis " )
Then he says, " Now ladies, you know what to say when this happens...
' Prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase!' " LOL
[Brunch]
(summary) I talked with Israel-senpai for 8 minutes, he later left to go to the quad. I later talked with Jennica at the last two minutes of brunch.
[ 3rd pd ]
We went to the cooking room to dine on fruits (apples & bananas) with chocolate dip. I simply ate the apples.
A little bit later, when Carlos-kun was eating a banana (and stealing from Johnathan-kun's chocolate dip),
a bit of chocolate splattered on his lower lip and chin. Octavio-kun, Elijah-kun, and Johnathan-kun described it as, " Chocolate Cum " . We all laughed at the idea (haha!).
[ 4th pd ]
Worked on making and studying flash cards.
[ Lunch ]
I greeted Crystal-chan, Colleen-chan, and Judy-chan. Because the wind was absolutely vicious, we went over to the C-building for shelter. We stood in front of room C101, just like back in freshmen year.
Mister Vansambeek later came out of his classroom. Jokingly disgruntled, he said,
" I don't mind Colleen and I like Tammy, but the rest of you people ( Crystal-chan, Han-kun, Micheal, and Judy) could just leave! "
[ 5th pd ]
Quiz.
[ 6th pd ]
Sat in the gym and wrote in my journal. One of the teachers flung two plastic balls into the open, and some dudes took advantage of these balls and started kicking them around.
It was amusing to watch the balls fly in midair or ram-smack into random people.
[ After school ]
On my way over to Ms.Sabado's, I was taking my usual route in the hall where there was the boy's locker room to my right (which is under construction) and the JROTC building to my left. A young man (that had saggy pants and had a saggy walk) was passing under the locker room, wasn't paying attention to his surroundings and was caught by the plastic cover that construction workers had put out. He struggled like a beast in a net, though it wasn't that complex to simply lift the cover and move on.
He roared, bustling under the cover for a mere 25 seconds, when he had successfully lifted the cover, he glanced around with an expression that read,
' What bitch-what? Whatchu lookin' at? '
Several steps behind, I giggled silently to myself.
I cleaned up Ms.Sabado's classroom for about 15 minutes. Outside, the wind roared, surging like a wild oceanic wave.
At 3:40pm, as I was being caressed by the wind, Israel-senpai arrived, wearing the scarf I gave him earlier today (at brunch).
Comments going in my head : He looked good in the scarf, grey suits him well. My white scarf represents a white cloud on a cloudy day, his represents a grey cloud on a cloudy day. He had a stress-free day today, I'm glad.
We sat and enjoyed the wind. I answered a question that I forgot to answer at brunch, it was what my thoughts were about the issue on Facebook chat yesterday. Then I had a moment where I felt like there was a question stuck in my throat. I bickered a bit of what I should do about it. Eventually, I said it,
" What would you do if I kissed you? "
OH MY FREAKING GAWD.
I JUST HAD TO LOOK AT HIS LIPS AND BARING TEETH WHEN I ASKED THAT.
" Wait--didn't I ask you that before? ". he asked.
" Eh-- you did? I don't remember.. "
" I did-- you answered that things would probably still be the same. "
" I can't remember. "
" Then what would you've done if I had kissed you? "
" I would--aha-- kiss back ahh..
* I dazed off a little bit here , thinking about all the other things I would've done *
wait--! [collects self]
I would kiss you back, when we pull away and look into each others eyes, I'd turn away, blushing. But other than that things may probably be the same! "
Once that was solved, it was time to bade farewell.
I wanted to have him over for some earl grey (tea), but he couldn't come, due to the fact his mother was cooking dinner today. Lucky--he's having fish for dinner today.
We hugged. Before 100% pulling away, I said,
" Ah--here comes old school-ness (referring to something I haven't done in such a long time, that it feels old) "
and I kissed him on the cheek. I felt my nose nudge his cheek, before the light pressing of my lips.
On the way home (4:13pm) the golden-orange, glowing sun beamed up ahead. It was warm ,
I smiled from ear to ear, I'm happy.
About two-thirds on my way home, the creepy-Mexican guy who greets high school girls and gets drugs from the neighbors south west the street from my place, stood ahead my path with crossed arms and a blue hood over his head.
" Hi. ", he said.
" Hello! ", I turned to him and chirped.
I guess I may've made his day, by making an overly happy-greeting, but I'm really happy.
[Morning]
Julie says that for every time I'm home late (4pm is the limit), she'll move one thing in my room.
[ At school ]
I greeted Janus-chan and Crystal-chan. I delivered the purple scarf to Crystal-chan, I'm glad that she liked it.
Janus-chan told me that her father used to make artistic creations and drawings; she'll show some of them to me tomorrow. I later gave Colleen-chan her blue scarf. By coincidence, she was also wearing a scarf. I'm glad that she also liked the gift.
She said that she'll disguise the blue scarf with her scarf, so then she wouldn't get caught. xD
I later met up with Han-kun and told him what happened yesterday on our way to 1rst pd.
[ 1rst pd ]
We did an in-class practice essay.
[ 2nd pd ]
Mister Castanos repeated this dumb joke to help us remember mitosis,
" My sister and I were dancing and she stepped on my toe, I say,
' Ow, you stepped on my toe sis ' . "
( Words underlined sound like the word, " mitosis " )
Then he says, " Now ladies, you know what to say when this happens...
' Prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase!' " LOL
[Brunch]
(summary) I talked with Israel-senpai for 8 minutes, he later left to go to the quad. I later talked with Jennica at the last two minutes of brunch.
[ 3rd pd ]
We went to the cooking room to dine on fruits (apples & bananas) with chocolate dip. I simply ate the apples.
A little bit later, when Carlos-kun was eating a banana (and stealing from Johnathan-kun's chocolate dip),
a bit of chocolate splattered on his lower lip and chin. Octavio-kun, Elijah-kun, and Johnathan-kun described it as, " Chocolate Cum " . We all laughed at the idea (haha!).
[ 4th pd ]
Worked on making and studying flash cards.
[ Lunch ]
I greeted Crystal-chan, Colleen-chan, and Judy-chan. Because the wind was absolutely vicious, we went over to the C-building for shelter. We stood in front of room C101, just like back in freshmen year.
Mister Vansambeek later came out of his classroom. Jokingly disgruntled, he said,
" I don't mind Colleen and I like Tammy, but the rest of you people ( Crystal-chan, Han-kun, Micheal, and Judy) could just leave! "
[ 5th pd ]
Quiz.
[ 6th pd ]
Sat in the gym and wrote in my journal. One of the teachers flung two plastic balls into the open, and some dudes took advantage of these balls and started kicking them around.
It was amusing to watch the balls fly in midair or ram-smack into random people.
[ After school ]
On my way over to Ms.Sabado's, I was taking my usual route in the hall where there was the boy's locker room to my right (which is under construction) and the JROTC building to my left. A young man (that had saggy pants and had a saggy walk) was passing under the locker room, wasn't paying attention to his surroundings and was caught by the plastic cover that construction workers had put out. He struggled like a beast in a net, though it wasn't that complex to simply lift the cover and move on.
He roared, bustling under the cover for a mere 25 seconds, when he had successfully lifted the cover, he glanced around with an expression that read,
' What bitch-what? Whatchu lookin' at? '
Several steps behind, I giggled silently to myself.
I cleaned up Ms.Sabado's classroom for about 15 minutes. Outside, the wind roared, surging like a wild oceanic wave.
At 3:40pm, as I was being caressed by the wind, Israel-senpai arrived, wearing the scarf I gave him earlier today (at brunch).
Comments going in my head : He looked good in the scarf, grey suits him well. My white scarf represents a white cloud on a cloudy day, his represents a grey cloud on a cloudy day. He had a stress-free day today, I'm glad.
We sat and enjoyed the wind. I answered a question that I forgot to answer at brunch, it was what my thoughts were about the issue on Facebook chat yesterday. Then I had a moment where I felt like there was a question stuck in my throat. I bickered a bit of what I should do about it. Eventually, I said it,
" What would you do if I kissed you? "
OH MY FREAKING GAWD.
I JUST HAD TO LOOK AT HIS LIPS AND BARING TEETH WHEN I ASKED THAT.
" Wait--didn't I ask you that before? ". he asked.
" Eh-- you did? I don't remember.. "
" I did-- you answered that things would probably still be the same. "
" I can't remember. "
" Then what would you've done if I had kissed you? "
" I would--aha-- kiss back ahh..
* I dazed off a little bit here , thinking about all the other things I would've done *
wait--! [collects self]
I would kiss you back, when we pull away and look into each others eyes, I'd turn away, blushing. But other than that things may probably be the same! "
Once that was solved, it was time to bade farewell.
I wanted to have him over for some earl grey (tea), but he couldn't come, due to the fact his mother was cooking dinner today. Lucky--he's having fish for dinner today.
We hugged. Before 100% pulling away, I said,
" Ah--here comes old school-ness (referring to something I haven't done in such a long time, that it feels old) "
and I kissed him on the cheek. I felt my nose nudge his cheek, before the light pressing of my lips.
On the way home (4:13pm) the golden-orange, glowing sun beamed up ahead. It was warm ,
I smiled from ear to ear, I'm happy.
About two-thirds on my way home, the creepy-Mexican guy who greets high school girls and gets drugs from the neighbors south west the street from my place, stood ahead my path with crossed arms and a blue hood over his head.
" Hi. ", he said.
" Hello! ", I turned to him and chirped.
I guess I may've made his day, by making an overly happy-greeting, but I'm really happy.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
11/30/2011 - My Day - No anxiety attack today, I'm glad.
Today's the day when I first gave Israel-senpai a crocheted wristband.
I remember writing in my journal that we were, " Wristband Buddies ", which pretty much is elementary now that I think about it. Haha.
My goal today is to deliver this wristband to him, if we can see each other, that is.
[ Morning ]
The toast my mother was toasting sprang up from the toaster and landed on the floor. It was as though the toast was trying to escape its destined fate.
[At school]
Greeted Crystal-chan, Janus-chan, Christine-chan, and Han-kun.
Christine had poofy hair today and she tried to cover it by pulling her hood over her head.
I assured her that it'll go down eventually (no worries!) > u <
I later met up with Han and walked to class. I told him that I got an anxiety attack again, probably due to the fact I had something to tell Israel-senpai after school yesterday,
but I couldn't really find the right time (so I told him on Facebook).
I bade farewell to Han when I reached my classroom door, he went off to the classroom next door to mine.
Outside of the classroom, waiting for Mister Guven, Carlos-kun showed me a song called ," Rack City ".
Elijah-kun started nicknaming me, " Rack City ", and spreading a lie that I liked Rack City.
How very annoying, but I knew that he was only fooling around.
[1rst pd]
We picked up a copy of The Joy Luck Club and did some SSR. I fetched a book for Carlos-kun, Johnathan-kun, and Octavio-kun. Elijah then asked me to get a book for him. I refused at first, because he called me, " Rack City ". When he offered to stop calling me that, I then got a book for him. :D
[2nd pd]
We went over the warm up/ ' Do Now ', then read about chromosomes and mitosis.
While we were reading about the X and Y chromosomes, Mister Castanos said that boys have it more stressful than girls on their monthly periods, because males have to make sperm. Then he asks some of the male students in the class what they're doing. He pauses. Then answers for them,
" Making sperm. "
Then he asks some of the female students what they were doing. Again he answers for them,
" Dropping an egg. "
lol wut.
[Brunch]
Hung out with Micheal and Judy-chan. We discussed the code red drill that will occur on Tuesday next week.
[3rd pd]
We had a speaker from the military talk to us about career pathways that can be opened up by joining the army and taking 3-year (the least) courses.
When he left, the class came to its usual chatter at the last 20 minutes of class.
[4th pd]
Copied down key terms, then copied down notes as Mister Herning read them aloud.
[Lunch]
Hung out with Han and Micheal, later greeted Crystal-chan, Colleen-chan,and Judy-chan.
Judy-chan and I talked about our days and such, it was fun.
[5th pd]
Warm up, notes, workbook work---done.
[6th pd]
Walked the track with Diane-senpai. I later met up with Crystal-chan and Carolina-chan after the 25 minutes of walking. I'm glad to hear that both of their days were okay.
[After school]
On my way over to Ms.Sabado's class, I met up with Han. He asked me if I was going to wait for Israel. I said that I was. He told me not to wait for him, since I was unsure if he would or would not come.
Though I felt certain that I was going to be forgotten by him.
" Its okay, since I'm used to waiting. Its almost like a.."
" A habit? "
" Not really, more like a hobby! I'm like adjusted to it or something! "
Han told me to take care, he could tell that my health has been degrading since I've had two anxiety attacks already and my body hasn't shown much of a recovery.
I cleaned Ms.Sabado's classroom for about 14 minutes. At 3:15pm, I sat outside on the bench.
The wind roared like a thunderstorm on a clear day. Yet, it felt calm, it felt like jumping from the highest cloud in the sky and soaring through the atmosphere, with the air brushing your cheeks.
The deciduous tree to my left has lost a majority of its leaves, leaving most of its unfaltering red berries, but they will too, fall like the leaves later on.
As I sat, I grinned against the wind, thinking about Kathy's message this morning.
She told me not to ever call myself a fucktard again and to think about the brightness like my friends around me, rather slowly fall back into the darkness again. I smiled from ear to ear about the thought of her advice.
' That's right, I happy, to have such great friends. I'm really happy. It doesn't hurt any more . '
The wind caressed my body and kissed my hands.
Past 4:30pm the wind starts to lash about. I sat and wrote in my journal, cowering whenever a big wave loomed against me. I could feel my health degrading. I waited.
At 4:59pm, Trian came over to me and lightly poked my back. I greeted her with a smile.
We talked about our classes,our days, and the fussy wind. It was an enjoyable moment.
At 5:10pm, I left for home, the sky was getting dimmer.
The Chesire Cat's moon grinned at me.
The moon looked like it was going to laugh at me for waiting.
Waiting for a person who forgot about me.
It was like it wanted to pity me if it had a voice,
" Oh you silly little girl! You wasted two hours of your life to degrade your health, now look at you! You were forgotten, admit it! You were rejected, haha! HAHAHA! "
I smiled, confused and happy. Confused about feeling sad, upset about my position.
I guess I deserved it, let's leave it at that? I deserved to be forgotten, then its not his fault. That thought saddened me.
[ Home at last ]
I came home and apologized to my worried mother, who scolded at me for a second or two.
" I waited for someone who never came. "
I went upstairs and took a shower, the hot water relieving my frozen-stiff body. Ooh yes.
I turned to the cold water to close my pores, dried, got dressed and went downstairs to check my e-mail.
Only to see that my sister had posted something on my Facebook wall.
I remember writing in my journal that we were, " Wristband Buddies ", which pretty much is elementary now that I think about it. Haha.
My goal today is to deliver this wristband to him, if we can see each other, that is.
[ Morning ]
The toast my mother was toasting sprang up from the toaster and landed on the floor. It was as though the toast was trying to escape its destined fate.
[At school]
Greeted Crystal-chan, Janus-chan, Christine-chan, and Han-kun.
Christine had poofy hair today and she tried to cover it by pulling her hood over her head.
I assured her that it'll go down eventually (no worries!) > u <
I later met up with Han and walked to class. I told him that I got an anxiety attack again, probably due to the fact I had something to tell Israel-senpai after school yesterday,
but I couldn't really find the right time (so I told him on Facebook).
I bade farewell to Han when I reached my classroom door, he went off to the classroom next door to mine.
Outside of the classroom, waiting for Mister Guven, Carlos-kun showed me a song called ," Rack City ".
Elijah-kun started nicknaming me, " Rack City ", and spreading a lie that I liked Rack City.
How very annoying, but I knew that he was only fooling around.
[1rst pd]
We picked up a copy of The Joy Luck Club and did some SSR. I fetched a book for Carlos-kun, Johnathan-kun, and Octavio-kun. Elijah then asked me to get a book for him. I refused at first, because he called me, " Rack City ". When he offered to stop calling me that, I then got a book for him. :D
[2nd pd]
We went over the warm up/ ' Do Now ', then read about chromosomes and mitosis.
While we were reading about the X and Y chromosomes, Mister Castanos said that boys have it more stressful than girls on their monthly periods, because males have to make sperm. Then he asks some of the male students in the class what they're doing. He pauses. Then answers for them,
" Making sperm. "
Then he asks some of the female students what they were doing. Again he answers for them,
" Dropping an egg. "
lol wut.
[Brunch]
Hung out with Micheal and Judy-chan. We discussed the code red drill that will occur on Tuesday next week.
[3rd pd]
We had a speaker from the military talk to us about career pathways that can be opened up by joining the army and taking 3-year (the least) courses.
When he left, the class came to its usual chatter at the last 20 minutes of class.
[4th pd]
Copied down key terms, then copied down notes as Mister Herning read them aloud.
[Lunch]
Hung out with Han and Micheal, later greeted Crystal-chan, Colleen-chan,and Judy-chan.
Judy-chan and I talked about our days and such, it was fun.
[5th pd]
Warm up, notes, workbook work---done.
[6th pd]
Walked the track with Diane-senpai. I later met up with Crystal-chan and Carolina-chan after the 25 minutes of walking. I'm glad to hear that both of their days were okay.
[After school]
On my way over to Ms.Sabado's class, I met up with Han. He asked me if I was going to wait for Israel. I said that I was. He told me not to wait for him, since I was unsure if he would or would not come.
Though I felt certain that I was going to be forgotten by him.
" Its okay, since I'm used to waiting. Its almost like a.."
" A habit? "
" Not really, more like a hobby! I'm like adjusted to it or something! "
Han told me to take care, he could tell that my health has been degrading since I've had two anxiety attacks already and my body hasn't shown much of a recovery.
I cleaned Ms.Sabado's classroom for about 14 minutes. At 3:15pm, I sat outside on the bench.
The wind roared like a thunderstorm on a clear day. Yet, it felt calm, it felt like jumping from the highest cloud in the sky and soaring through the atmosphere, with the air brushing your cheeks.
The deciduous tree to my left has lost a majority of its leaves, leaving most of its unfaltering red berries, but they will too, fall like the leaves later on.
As I sat, I grinned against the wind, thinking about Kathy's message this morning.
She told me not to ever call myself a fucktard again and to think about the brightness like my friends around me, rather slowly fall back into the darkness again. I smiled from ear to ear about the thought of her advice.
' That's right, I happy, to have such great friends. I'm really happy. It doesn't hurt any more . '
The wind caressed my body and kissed my hands.
Past 4:30pm the wind starts to lash about. I sat and wrote in my journal, cowering whenever a big wave loomed against me. I could feel my health degrading. I waited.
At 4:59pm, Trian came over to me and lightly poked my back. I greeted her with a smile.
We talked about our classes,our days, and the fussy wind. It was an enjoyable moment.
At 5:10pm, I left for home, the sky was getting dimmer.
The Chesire Cat's moon grinned at me.
The moon looked like it was going to laugh at me for waiting.
Waiting for a person who forgot about me.
It was like it wanted to pity me if it had a voice,
" Oh you silly little girl! You wasted two hours of your life to degrade your health, now look at you! You were forgotten, admit it! You were rejected, haha! HAHAHA! "
I smiled, confused and happy. Confused about feeling sad, upset about my position.
I guess I deserved it, let's leave it at that? I deserved to be forgotten, then its not his fault. That thought saddened me.
[ Home at last ]
I came home and apologized to my worried mother, who scolded at me for a second or two.
" I waited for someone who never came. "
I went upstairs and took a shower, the hot water relieving my frozen-stiff body. Ooh yes.
I turned to the cold water to close my pores, dried, got dressed and went downstairs to check my e-mail.
Only to see that my sister had posted something on my Facebook wall.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
11/29/2011 - My Day - Cold Shower Ecstasy
[ Morning - At Home ]
I awoke from a clear dream that faded away the moment I woke. Augh, I totally am not fond of that happening.
I'm feeling much better, more confident, now that I got some rest.
* I had a minor anxiety attack yesterday*
[At School]
I greeted Janus-chan, Crystal-chan, and Colleen-chan. Israel-senpai was there too, but I didn't really want to greet him. Janus-chan and I talked about our days and how Micheal has been annoying her recently.
Janus-chan later left for class, Han-kun and I met up and walked to class. I told him that I got an anxiety attack yesterday, due to the fact I must've absorbed something after school with Israel-senpai.
[1rst pd]
We read the first few pages and made active reading comments on the book, The Joy Luck Club.
The book so far is okay, just not as hot as Lord of the Flies.
[2nd pd]
DNA quiz. After that, we read through an article about a man who was murdered at his work place.
The murder had a problematic mutation in his DNA that runs through the family tree. The murder had also committed other crimes, such as rape and he also confesses of his crime. We went over the questions and debated whether the murder should be executed, locked up, have a DNA test taken to see if he really has that genetic mutation (costing $1000), ect.
Mister Castanos asked me to read and answer question # 5.
" How do genetics relate to all of this? "
" Its in his DNA, it can't be helped. "
" What should we do with him, Tammy? "
" Well, I wouldn't choose to execute him, even though he killed someone. We're all human after all and there's darkness within us all. "
" Then, what should we do with him? Lock him up? "
" No, we shouldn't lock him up--what's the benefit in that(?) "
" He killed and raped someone. He's a rapist. A RAPIST! "
" Then we should hear what he thinks! What he wants! " , I exclaimed.
People stared, bug-eyed at me, some grinning.
My cheeks were dashed pink and I was grinning at my remarks and at the scene.
" Love it. Thank you for your time and have fun for the rest of your day. "
The bell rang for brunch.
[Brunch]
David-senpai complimented that I did a good job on the debate. I thanked him. He also said that he had also noticed that I've been open lately. That is because I fought the darkness within me.
I'm happy.
I spent the majority of the time writing in my journal.
[3rd pd]
Wrote a summary on the film in class. I finished my summary early, so I drew myself with my elbows on my lap, hands cupping my cheeks, great wings folded to the side of my posture.
Next to this drawing, I wrote in one of my quotes, " I'm not an angel, I'm only human after all. "
Since this was on the same page with my summary in the class-journal, I ended up turning it in.
Back at my seat, I looked over to see read my teacher's expression over my drawing.
She looked calm to see the angelic drawing, yet complected.
[4th pd]
Textbook work.
[ Lunch ]
I held the door for the students in 4th pd to pass by, before letting myself go meet up with the others by the C-building. I hung out with Colleen-chan, Crystal-chan, and Judy-chan.
I spent the majority of the time writing in my journal.
[5th pd]
Warm up, notes, and workbook work.
[6th pd]
Sat in the gym today. As Carolina-chan read through my journal, I doodled in my geometry notebook.
[After school]
I congratulated Carolina on fight off the virus, I'm glad she's feeling better today, much better than yesterday.
n___n
I cleaned up Ms.Sabado's classroom for 10 minutes.
[3:15pm]
Sat on the usual bench. The deciduous tree to my left is slowly/quickly losing its leaves, same goes for the ginko trees on campus.
[3:30pm]
Alvana-chan and Israel-senpai arrived.
+ 1 anxiety attack.
I fell back into that vision again, it was not fun, but I managed.
I stayed silent for the majority of the time.
When they departed (leaving there bags on / by the bench),
Israel-senpai being chased by his rapist-schoolmates, Alvana-chan in observation mode,
I was then left with 3.5 minutes to relieve my anxiety by curling my upper-body over my lap and making a silent scream.
Haa--AHHHHHHHHH!
Was how I screamed inside.
I'm not locked within myself anymore, not trapped in a room, not caged either.
I'm in an open atmosphere. If I scream in it, I scream in it. If I'm in pain, then I'm in pain.
Scars tore up on my arms, like on my cracking fingertips in real life.
Hey..what are you thinking right now? What are you going to do? What are you feeling?
These thoughts floated invisibly around me.
Outside, I gripped my solar plexus as though I was bleeding.
It was convenient to hear Israel speak about how it would feel to be wounded by a bullet at this point in time. I could have laughed like a madman right there and then, but I'm poorly-humored.
'Nothing' ,was what I thought, but I did not feel nothing. I was feeling negativity.
I was feeling negativity from the anxiety attack(?) --no.
What was I going to do--I wondered what I could do.
Its entropy, that's it. Yeah, that's it. This'll go away eventually.
Takumi sighed at my side.
Israel-senpai returned, questioned my condition.
I evaded to tell him, the vision made a minor shock wave flash in my head.
" I'm okay, there's just something on my mind,that's all. "
[4:16pm]
Israel-senpai decides its time for him to probably get going.
It is not that time interval where there isn't enough time to say a proper farewell.
I switched personalities, Takumi took over.
I got up, slung my bag over my shoulder and left with hurried steps.
[4:17-4:18]
The sunset was of a golden glow in the distance, it was warm through the cracks of the chilly atmosphere.
My ribs pressed to my lungs. I made it to the front door and switched back to Takusu.
' You didn't have to do that Takumi, leaving without a farewell..'
I saw it. I saw how Takumi had her back towards Israel when she left. Deja vu?
' I couldn't stand you torturing yourself, you idiot fuckass. Get inside, NOW. ', Takumi replied.
Indoors, I took a shower.
The hot water scorched my body. I switched it over to warm water. Once I was cleansed from soap,
I turned to the ice cold water. I clenched my body and looked up. The cold water padded my hair.
I rotated 360 degrees in the cold water, getting all parts of my body stricken by it all.
I bent over and let out an erotic cry when it lashed at my back like a whip. One more back lash, and I was done.
I made a trod downstairs to place my dirty clothes in the laundry room, then had some dinner.
An hour later, punishment exercises for being a weak fucktard.
Five sets of 10-second back-lifting, then a one-minute back lift
(not putting the lifted upper body or legs down). The exercise is similar to the trunk lift ;
30 push-ups and 30 reverse-push-ups ; 50 by 50 side sit-ups and 50 regular sit-ups ; and 10 slow leg-lifts.
It burned, but felt great.
I awoke from a clear dream that faded away the moment I woke. Augh, I totally am not fond of that happening.
I'm feeling much better, more confident, now that I got some rest.
* I had a minor anxiety attack yesterday*
[At School]
I greeted Janus-chan, Crystal-chan, and Colleen-chan. Israel-senpai was there too, but I didn't really want to greet him. Janus-chan and I talked about our days and how Micheal has been annoying her recently.
Janus-chan later left for class, Han-kun and I met up and walked to class. I told him that I got an anxiety attack yesterday, due to the fact I must've absorbed something after school with Israel-senpai.
[1rst pd]
We read the first few pages and made active reading comments on the book, The Joy Luck Club.
The book so far is okay, just not as hot as Lord of the Flies.
[2nd pd]
DNA quiz. After that, we read through an article about a man who was murdered at his work place.
The murder had a problematic mutation in his DNA that runs through the family tree. The murder had also committed other crimes, such as rape and he also confesses of his crime. We went over the questions and debated whether the murder should be executed, locked up, have a DNA test taken to see if he really has that genetic mutation (costing $1000), ect.
Mister Castanos asked me to read and answer question # 5.
" How do genetics relate to all of this? "
" Its in his DNA, it can't be helped. "
" What should we do with him, Tammy? "
" Well, I wouldn't choose to execute him, even though he killed someone. We're all human after all and there's darkness within us all. "
" Then, what should we do with him? Lock him up? "
" No, we shouldn't lock him up--what's the benefit in that(?) "
" He killed and raped someone. He's a rapist. A RAPIST! "
" Then we should hear what he thinks! What he wants! " , I exclaimed.
People stared, bug-eyed at me, some grinning.
My cheeks were dashed pink and I was grinning at my remarks and at the scene.
" Love it. Thank you for your time and have fun for the rest of your day. "
The bell rang for brunch.
[Brunch]
David-senpai complimented that I did a good job on the debate. I thanked him. He also said that he had also noticed that I've been open lately. That is because I fought the darkness within me.
I'm happy.
I spent the majority of the time writing in my journal.
[3rd pd]
Wrote a summary on the film in class. I finished my summary early, so I drew myself with my elbows on my lap, hands cupping my cheeks, great wings folded to the side of my posture.
Next to this drawing, I wrote in one of my quotes, " I'm not an angel, I'm only human after all. "
Since this was on the same page with my summary in the class-journal, I ended up turning it in.
Back at my seat, I looked over to see read my teacher's expression over my drawing.
She looked calm to see the angelic drawing, yet complected.
[4th pd]
Textbook work.
[ Lunch ]
I held the door for the students in 4th pd to pass by, before letting myself go meet up with the others by the C-building. I hung out with Colleen-chan, Crystal-chan, and Judy-chan.
I spent the majority of the time writing in my journal.
[5th pd]
Warm up, notes, and workbook work.
[6th pd]
Sat in the gym today. As Carolina-chan read through my journal, I doodled in my geometry notebook.
[After school]
I congratulated Carolina on fight off the virus, I'm glad she's feeling better today, much better than yesterday.
n___n
I cleaned up Ms.Sabado's classroom for 10 minutes.
[3:15pm]
Sat on the usual bench. The deciduous tree to my left is slowly/quickly losing its leaves, same goes for the ginko trees on campus.
[3:30pm]
Alvana-chan and Israel-senpai arrived.
+ 1 anxiety attack.
I fell back into that vision again, it was not fun, but I managed.
I stayed silent for the majority of the time.
When they departed (leaving there bags on / by the bench),
Israel-senpai being chased by his rapist-schoolmates, Alvana-chan in observation mode,
I was then left with 3.5 minutes to relieve my anxiety by curling my upper-body over my lap and making a silent scream.
Haa--AHHHHHHHHH!
Was how I screamed inside.
I'm not locked within myself anymore, not trapped in a room, not caged either.
I'm in an open atmosphere. If I scream in it, I scream in it. If I'm in pain, then I'm in pain.
Scars tore up on my arms, like on my cracking fingertips in real life.
Hey..what are you thinking right now? What are you going to do? What are you feeling?
These thoughts floated invisibly around me.
Outside, I gripped my solar plexus as though I was bleeding.
It was convenient to hear Israel speak about how it would feel to be wounded by a bullet at this point in time. I could have laughed like a madman right there and then, but I'm poorly-humored.
'Nothing' ,was what I thought, but I did not feel nothing. I was feeling negativity.
I was feeling negativity from the anxiety attack(?) --no.
What was I going to do--I wondered what I could do.
Its entropy, that's it. Yeah, that's it. This'll go away eventually.
Takumi sighed at my side.
Israel-senpai returned, questioned my condition.
I evaded to tell him, the vision made a minor shock wave flash in my head.
" I'm okay, there's just something on my mind,that's all. "
[4:16pm]
Israel-senpai decides its time for him to probably get going.
It is not that time interval where there isn't enough time to say a proper farewell.
I switched personalities, Takumi took over.
I got up, slung my bag over my shoulder and left with hurried steps.
[4:17-4:18]
The sunset was of a golden glow in the distance, it was warm through the cracks of the chilly atmosphere.
My ribs pressed to my lungs. I made it to the front door and switched back to Takusu.
' You didn't have to do that Takumi, leaving without a farewell..'
I saw it. I saw how Takumi had her back towards Israel when she left. Deja vu?
' I couldn't stand you torturing yourself, you idiot fuckass. Get inside, NOW. ', Takumi replied.
Indoors, I took a shower.
The hot water scorched my body. I switched it over to warm water. Once I was cleansed from soap,
I turned to the ice cold water. I clenched my body and looked up. The cold water padded my hair.
I rotated 360 degrees in the cold water, getting all parts of my body stricken by it all.
I bent over and let out an erotic cry when it lashed at my back like a whip. One more back lash, and I was done.
I made a trod downstairs to place my dirty clothes in the laundry room, then had some dinner.
An hour later, punishment exercises for being a weak fucktard.
Five sets of 10-second back-lifting, then a one-minute back lift
(not putting the lifted upper body or legs down). The exercise is similar to the trunk lift ;
30 push-ups and 30 reverse-push-ups ; 50 by 50 side sit-ups and 50 regular sit-ups ; and 10 slow leg-lifts.
It burned, but felt great.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
11/22/2011 - My day
[Morning, at home]
I encountered a spider, whom I tried to pick up, using a piece of paper,
but he scurried away under the refrigerator. ;__;
[Morning, at school]
I greeted Janus-chan and we talked about our days. Israel-senpai later came by. I told him about my recent vision, including the meaning of it. He frowned at the words of my vision.
" I've been having this vision recently..that you're strangling me. It represents that I'm denying a vital aspect of myself. "
I accepted his apology ( for the fact that he didn't see me after school the other day ), but also mentioned
he shouldn't be sorry for having me wait all the time. I mean--waiting isn't all that bad. I get to enjoy the nature around me.
I guess that left me still having the 'bullet wound'
he probably isn't very convinced that I forgave him.
Note: about the 'bullet wound' - it isn't literally a bullet wound,
but when he apologized about not showing up yesterday,
I replied, " There's nothing to be sorry about! "
" You always say that.. "
What he said gave me a bullet wound. He probably thinks I'm lying--
about me not feeling hurt after things after things. [End Note]
I later greeted Han-kun and Colleen-chan. Han and I talked about what we were up to in our English classes and Jenny-senpai's concern of her health.
[1rst pd]
I spent the majority of the time writing in my journal. The vision of Israel-senpai strangling me is gone, but I can still see myself with the mark of his hands on my neck. It'll go away sooner or later.
I gave Mister Guven an origami boat. He commented that he could use it to sail away somewhere. Haha xD
[2nd pd]
Mister Castanos went around the room asking everyone's opinion on what the biggest problem in the world is. People had interesting responses : economy, war, taxes, inflation, global warming, ect.
In the late beginning, a student was sent out to wait outside, because he didn't want to remove his hood. About 20 minutes later, someone reminds Mister Castanos that the student was still outside LOL.
He then tells the student that he could keep his hood on from now on. XD
[Brunch]
Talked with Micheal for a minute, ate my sandwich, then cleaned up Ms.Sabado's classroom.
[3rd pd]
We wrote down what ticks us off, then disposed of the paper. I simply wrote down, " Rudeness. "
The purpose of the activity was to get it out of the system. Afterwords, the class made popcorn.
I just sat there and drew myself as a personified Taurus.
Before heading off to 4th pd, I organized the chairs in the room.
Mrs.Haertling approached me, feeling that she barely got a chance to speak with me. She asked how things were going, I replied that everything was going alright. She assumed that me having a mellow day isn't so bad. I agreed and told her how yesterday went.
Her voice came to a concerned tone, but I assured her that things will go on alright.
On my way to class, I felt my guts being compressed from the side.
I don't want people feeling concerned about me, I don't like having people worry about me very much.
Too see even my teachers worry, makes me feel kinda terrible.
More like, I'm just not used to all of this.
I feel sick, there really is something mentally wrong here, something I just gotta say to that guy..
but time just won't let me say it. Hah...I feel sick, but I mustn't think about it.
[4th pd]
I concentrated on studying my flash cards before we began the quiz.
[Lunch]
Hung out with Colleen-chan, Crystal-chan, and Judy-chan. I had Colleen skim/ read through my journal as Judy and I talked about our classes and plans for the holiday. Judy shared some M&M's chocolates with me, it was sweet of her. [:
I taped the wrapper in my journal as a memory hehe! x]
[5th pd]
We watched the film, " Air Force One ". It was semi-interesting.
When Ms.Sabado turned off the lights and closed the door,
it was nearly pitch black in the classroom (which I found awesome).
She kept a little lamp on in the far left of the room, which provided such perfect lighting, that it made me feel relaxed (which I found even more awesome, since I like dim lighting).
[6th pd]
We sat in the gym today, I spent the time analyzing my biology worksheets as Carolina read my journal.
[After school]
Bade Carolina-chan and Crystal-chan a wonderful weekend/ holiday, then went over to Ms.Sabado's classroom. Ms.Sabado gave me some organic fruit punch (juice pouch)
and Mrs. Shika (pronounced 'Nike') offered me some chocolate European biscuit cookies (I took one and it was delicious).
[3:07pm]
Sat on the bench, spending the majority of the time writing in my journal.
There's been an increase of the scattering of leaves on the concrete. The deciduous tree to my left is beginning to turn from mostly green to mostly red and golden yellow, its wondrous, like the clouds streaked upon the clear sky.
[3:30pm]
I looked up to the deciduous tree to see a little sparrow plucking and dropping some unwanted leaves from the tree.
'Little Miss Tidy Bird', I smiled at the title.
The little sparrows started playing tag and singing joyous songs among the branches.
It was then quiet, 'til 4:21pm, the sparrows began to sing again.
[4:24pm]
The twinkling of setting sunlight began,then receded at 4:26pm.
[4:32pm]
The twinkling of sunlight glowed once more, receding at 4:36pm.
Such distant sunlight, yet its warm..
sounds like my friendship and love. Woe is me.
[4:43pm]
Meditated before heading home at 4:45pm.
On the way home, I thought to myself,
" Today wasn't such a bad day...I received juice from my teacher, so its all good!
Wait--WTF. I'm such a little kid, getting excited over juice. Oh--I kid myself. "
I giggled under the setting, scarlet blue&pink sky.
My body is numbed cold, yet I feel so warm and maddening.
I encountered a spider, whom I tried to pick up, using a piece of paper,
but he scurried away under the refrigerator. ;__;
[Morning, at school]
I greeted Janus-chan and we talked about our days. Israel-senpai later came by. I told him about my recent vision, including the meaning of it. He frowned at the words of my vision.
" I've been having this vision recently..that you're strangling me. It represents that I'm denying a vital aspect of myself. "
I accepted his apology ( for the fact that he didn't see me after school the other day ), but also mentioned
he shouldn't be sorry for having me wait all the time. I mean--waiting isn't all that bad. I get to enjoy the nature around me.
I guess that left me still having the 'bullet wound'
he probably isn't very convinced that I forgave him.
Note: about the 'bullet wound' - it isn't literally a bullet wound,
but when he apologized about not showing up yesterday,
I replied, " There's nothing to be sorry about! "
" You always say that.. "
What he said gave me a bullet wound. He probably thinks I'm lying--
about me not feeling hurt after things after things. [End Note]
I later greeted Han-kun and Colleen-chan. Han and I talked about what we were up to in our English classes and Jenny-senpai's concern of her health.
[1rst pd]
I spent the majority of the time writing in my journal. The vision of Israel-senpai strangling me is gone, but I can still see myself with the mark of his hands on my neck. It'll go away sooner or later.
I gave Mister Guven an origami boat. He commented that he could use it to sail away somewhere. Haha xD
[2nd pd]
Mister Castanos went around the room asking everyone's opinion on what the biggest problem in the world is. People had interesting responses : economy, war, taxes, inflation, global warming, ect.
In the late beginning, a student was sent out to wait outside, because he didn't want to remove his hood. About 20 minutes later, someone reminds Mister Castanos that the student was still outside LOL.
He then tells the student that he could keep his hood on from now on. XD
[Brunch]
Talked with Micheal for a minute, ate my sandwich, then cleaned up Ms.Sabado's classroom.
[3rd pd]
We wrote down what ticks us off, then disposed of the paper. I simply wrote down, " Rudeness. "
The purpose of the activity was to get it out of the system. Afterwords, the class made popcorn.
I just sat there and drew myself as a personified Taurus.
Before heading off to 4th pd, I organized the chairs in the room.
Mrs.Haertling approached me, feeling that she barely got a chance to speak with me. She asked how things were going, I replied that everything was going alright. She assumed that me having a mellow day isn't so bad. I agreed and told her how yesterday went.
Her voice came to a concerned tone, but I assured her that things will go on alright.
On my way to class, I felt my guts being compressed from the side.
I don't want people feeling concerned about me, I don't like having people worry about me very much.
Too see even my teachers worry, makes me feel kinda terrible.
More like, I'm just not used to all of this.
I feel sick, there really is something mentally wrong here, something I just gotta say to that guy..
but time just won't let me say it. Hah...I feel sick, but I mustn't think about it.
[4th pd]
I concentrated on studying my flash cards before we began the quiz.
[Lunch]
Hung out with Colleen-chan, Crystal-chan, and Judy-chan. I had Colleen skim/ read through my journal as Judy and I talked about our classes and plans for the holiday. Judy shared some M&M's chocolates with me, it was sweet of her. [:
I taped the wrapper in my journal as a memory hehe! x]
[5th pd]
We watched the film, " Air Force One ". It was semi-interesting.
When Ms.Sabado turned off the lights and closed the door,
it was nearly pitch black in the classroom (which I found awesome).
She kept a little lamp on in the far left of the room, which provided such perfect lighting, that it made me feel relaxed (which I found even more awesome, since I like dim lighting).
[6th pd]
We sat in the gym today, I spent the time analyzing my biology worksheets as Carolina read my journal.
[After school]
Bade Carolina-chan and Crystal-chan a wonderful weekend/ holiday, then went over to Ms.Sabado's classroom. Ms.Sabado gave me some organic fruit punch (juice pouch)
and Mrs. Shika (pronounced 'Nike') offered me some chocolate European biscuit cookies (I took one and it was delicious).
[3:07pm]
Sat on the bench, spending the majority of the time writing in my journal.
There's been an increase of the scattering of leaves on the concrete. The deciduous tree to my left is beginning to turn from mostly green to mostly red and golden yellow, its wondrous, like the clouds streaked upon the clear sky.
[3:30pm]
I looked up to the deciduous tree to see a little sparrow plucking and dropping some unwanted leaves from the tree.
'Little Miss Tidy Bird', I smiled at the title.
The little sparrows started playing tag and singing joyous songs among the branches.
It was then quiet, 'til 4:21pm, the sparrows began to sing again.
[4:24pm]
The twinkling of setting sunlight began,then receded at 4:26pm.
[4:32pm]
The twinkling of sunlight glowed once more, receding at 4:36pm.
Such distant sunlight, yet its warm..
sounds like my friendship and love. Woe is me.
[4:43pm]
Meditated before heading home at 4:45pm.
On the way home, I thought to myself,
" Today wasn't such a bad day...I received juice from my teacher, so its all good!
Wait--WTF. I'm such a little kid, getting excited over juice. Oh--I kid myself. "
I giggled under the setting, scarlet blue&pink sky.
My body is numbed cold, yet I feel so warm and maddening.
Monday, November 21, 2011
11/21/2011 - After school
I went to go get help from Mister Seeberger on my Protein Synthesis homework. We talked about picture books, his kids' artwork on the cork board, and a little bit about the old television set.
I then went to Ms. Sabado's classroom at about 3:12pm. After cleaning, I sat outside at 3:22pm.
I met up with Mr. Seeberger, who was on his way out of the 100th building.
He told me about the mistake in his acting course on Saturday.
' To get your eyes teary', his friend advised, ' Put a (cut) lemon to your eyes (not on it) '
The director got frustrated at this and lectured Mister Seeberger for taking this amateur advice.
" Don't think, just do it ", was what the director told Mister Seeberger.
We agreed that what he said was Jedi-like thing. XD
Mister Seeberger left at about 3:30pm.
Not long after he left, Ly and her boyfriend came by. We chatted a little bit, then they left to the school library.
I spent the majority of the time writing in my journal, meditating in between.
At 4:23pm, the setting sun beamed and twinkled through the cracks between tree leaves and fence openings.
It was amazing.
The sky was sponged by passing clouds, it made the dim reflection on the windows of the 2-story building in front of me appear mysteriously wondrous.
At 4:54pm, all nature stood still, as though time had stopped-- there was no wind nor breeze, just the chilled afternoon air. Not even the leaves on the trees bellowed. All felt the silence, but the roaring of industrious cars.
At 4:58pm, the clouds were puffy and grey, rising up and up.
At 5pm, the sky was getting dimmer, it was now the tone of an old photo.
At 5:02pm - met up with Trian-chan.
" What are you doing here so late? "
"Because of tennis practice--why are you here so late?"
" I'm waiting for someone ", that statement I made struck my tongue.
Trian went to go sit at the bench facing the parking lot.
At 5:08pm - the deciduous tree to my left starts dropping its leaves.
" Even the tree seems to be telling me to go home. "
I closed my eyes and meditated, until I heard the voice of the tree.
" Go home! Go home, its dangerous here! "
It could be playing tricks on me, it could not, but I did as I was told and went home.
Of campus, the grey clouds were fluffy and spread out enough for me to see a great setting sky. The light ahead cast shadows dark enough to make figures ahead look like silhouettes.
I smiled despite my hopes of seeing him today.
Inside, I can hear myself cowering and screaming, " Usotsuki (Liar), Usotsuki..... "
I strangled myself to get things straight, my job is not to think such things, like I said before,
" I will do my best. "
Each and everyday, I told myself that and sometimes--the day would end like the end.
Sometimes, I wished it was the end, but not anymore.
Oh, he said, " See you tomorrow! "
Do I still have the right to call him a " liar "?
No. Of course not, because I said the same thing back. That makes me the liar, the cursed one, the idiot.
Whatever, its all good now.
Outside, I looked ahead and smiled.
Home at last, the first thing I hear from my mother in a disgruntled tone,
" You come home late all of the time. "
My eyes did the sighing for me.
" I'm sorry. I was waiting for someone who never came. "
I unlaced my ragged footwear and tore off my socks.
Cold feet, great.
I then went to Ms. Sabado's classroom at about 3:12pm. After cleaning, I sat outside at 3:22pm.
I met up with Mr. Seeberger, who was on his way out of the 100th building.
He told me about the mistake in his acting course on Saturday.
' To get your eyes teary', his friend advised, ' Put a (cut) lemon to your eyes (not on it) '
The director got frustrated at this and lectured Mister Seeberger for taking this amateur advice.
" Don't think, just do it ", was what the director told Mister Seeberger.
We agreed that what he said was Jedi-like thing. XD
Mister Seeberger left at about 3:30pm.
Not long after he left, Ly and her boyfriend came by. We chatted a little bit, then they left to the school library.
I spent the majority of the time writing in my journal, meditating in between.
At 4:23pm, the setting sun beamed and twinkled through the cracks between tree leaves and fence openings.
It was amazing.
The sky was sponged by passing clouds, it made the dim reflection on the windows of the 2-story building in front of me appear mysteriously wondrous.
At 4:54pm, all nature stood still, as though time had stopped-- there was no wind nor breeze, just the chilled afternoon air. Not even the leaves on the trees bellowed. All felt the silence, but the roaring of industrious cars.
At 4:58pm, the clouds were puffy and grey, rising up and up.
At 5pm, the sky was getting dimmer, it was now the tone of an old photo.
At 5:02pm - met up with Trian-chan.
" What are you doing here so late? "
"Because of tennis practice--why are you here so late?"
" I'm waiting for someone ", that statement I made struck my tongue.
Trian went to go sit at the bench facing the parking lot.
At 5:08pm - the deciduous tree to my left starts dropping its leaves.
" Even the tree seems to be telling me to go home. "
I closed my eyes and meditated, until I heard the voice of the tree.
" Go home! Go home, its dangerous here! "
It could be playing tricks on me, it could not, but I did as I was told and went home.
Of campus, the grey clouds were fluffy and spread out enough for me to see a great setting sky. The light ahead cast shadows dark enough to make figures ahead look like silhouettes.
I smiled despite my hopes of seeing him today.
Inside, I can hear myself cowering and screaming, " Usotsuki (Liar), Usotsuki..... "
I strangled myself to get things straight, my job is not to think such things, like I said before,
" I will do my best. "
Each and everyday, I told myself that and sometimes--the day would end like the end.
Sometimes, I wished it was the end, but not anymore.
Oh, he said, " See you tomorrow! "
Do I still have the right to call him a " liar "?
No. Of course not, because I said the same thing back. That makes me the liar, the cursed one, the idiot.
Whatever, its all good now.
Outside, I looked ahead and smiled.
Home at last, the first thing I hear from my mother in a disgruntled tone,
" You come home late all of the time. "
My eyes did the sighing for me.
" I'm sorry. I was waiting for someone who never came. "
I unlaced my ragged footwear and tore off my socks.
Cold feet, great.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
11/10/2011 - My Day
[ Morning ]
I spent the majority of the time recording yesterday's journal entry. At about 6:50AM, Israel-senpai messaged me just to say, " good morning ". We chatted a little bit, before I logged off I said,
" Israel-senpai, daisuki! "
Then translated it, " Daisuki - I like you "
He replied with a "
".
[ At School ]
I greeted my friends, chatted before heading off to class.
[ 1rst pd ]
Read a bit into chapter 12, i.e. the last chapter of the book, Lord of the Flies. After that, the class played a bit of Scattegories, where as I continued to read.
[2nd pd]
Quiz on DNA replication. At the last 10 minutes of class, when every one had turned in their quiz, my teacher decided that it was story time. He had a student turn of one set of lights.
He told the story of a 100% non-violent man who suddenly one day goes up on top of a clock tower and shoots down 16 random people. Reason was that the cause of his madness was because of a tumor, resulted from cancer, that was caused by DNA replication gone wrong.
[Brunch]
Jenny came by. We talked a little bit.
" How's you and that guy you like? ", she asked.
I spotted Israel-senpai and replied back to Jenny,
"Its okay, just..-eh! "
Israel came over and Jenny left.
He came to tell me that he couldn't meet up with me after school due to practice and a check-in to the hospital. " I knew it! " , I fake-grinned and he frowned. But, it was okay since I was seeing him at the moment, knowing that I'd be missing him for the rest of the day.
We discussed about his dream, mainly revolving around mecha, technology, and Hatsune Miku.
Then we dropped to the main issue.
" I want you to do me a favor...I want you to stop putting yourself down."
I lamely argued back (which irritated him), but agreed (solution).
[passing bell to 3rd]
We hugged.
" I really..missed you."
" I missed you too."
Details : I pressed my body up against his, my chin rested against his shoulder.
We pulled away, bade farewell.
In the hallway, I turned around...
...called his name,
" Israel-senpai!",and said, " I love you. "
" I know you do", he replied, " I love you too "
I know you know
" 'I know you do' --- you said that last year! So rude! "
(referring to the time when I said, "I love you" and he simply responded with, " I know you do. ")
"Wha-- so, it just means that I know that you love me too."
"Whatever!Hmph!", I jokingly grinned back and walked to class.
[3rd pd]
Spent the time writing in my journal.
[4th pd]
Spent the time doing textbook work.
[Lunch]
Spent the time chatting with Han and Judy about the art of gymnastics, ballet, and ect. We also talked about dietary things-- like becoming a vegetarian.
Speaking of which, I received a few cookies from Judy, yay ^ u ^.
[Passing bell to 5th]
I walked too fast while kinda zoning out, which resulted in me tripping on a crack and scarping my knees. I immediately got up, " I gotta get to class", I got up, collected myself and dashed to class.
There wasn't a band aid suited for my left bleeding knee (the other was just scratched), so I pulled out a napkin from my bag and pressed it against my somewhat bloody knee.
[5th pd]
I worked with the napkin pressed down upon my left knee. Awesomely, I got my work done; plus, the bleeding stopped about 7 minutes into class. I was ready, with my stinging knees to walk in PE later.
Christine told me to get well soon :3
[6th pd]
Cross-country walk lap : first we walked behind the tennis court, around half of a field outside the track, around a fifth of the perimeter of the baseball field,and 2 laps on the track. I met up with Crystal-chan and Carolina-chan at the 2nd role call after our lap was done.
On our way back to the gym, I told Carolina about my habit of putting myself down, thinking from a narrow point of view, so narrow that I can't even see the good qualities of myself.
She told me, " Don't think like that, you're a very kind and caring person. OK, look-- you give stuff-gifts, origami to teachers, you say 'hello' to nearly everyone. You're a very special person."
I bobbed my head to her words. " Exactly the same things, Israel-senpai said."
...Scary.
I thanked her for the advice, glad to have her by my side.
In the gym, she read my journal (volume 12) as I wrote in volume 13.
[After school]
Cleaned up Ms.Sabado's classroom, she asked me if I had seen Israel yet and talked to him about the tutoring. I replied,
"Yep, he told me that he did the warm up and JUST the warm up today.
Well, that's a head start. I can do all of the work..and all he does is the warm up! Haha!"
She also told me that he had an 'F' in her class, and wishes him to get some help of some sort to raise his grade, ohh--she worries and I thought he had a 'C' or 'C-' of some sort.
After cleaning, I sat outside on a different bench,since there was a couple on the bench I normally sat on.
The air was calm, the sunlight glimmered through the leaves of the tree to my right. It was warm, I smiled at the sound of the chirping sparrows fluttering about. The wind shook hands with my side-bangs.
I left early at 4PM, my scraped knees were stinging with possible infection. Other than going the short way through a building, I went the slight-long way by walking from out of the parking lot to my left. It was only about 65 steps more than the short way. The sun shone brightly up ahead, the sky was utterly clear as evening was approaching.
I spent the majority of the time recording yesterday's journal entry. At about 6:50AM, Israel-senpai messaged me just to say, " good morning ". We chatted a little bit, before I logged off I said,
" Israel-senpai, daisuki! "
Then translated it, " Daisuki - I like you "
He replied with a "
".[ At School ]
I greeted my friends, chatted before heading off to class.
[ 1rst pd ]
Read a bit into chapter 12, i.e. the last chapter of the book, Lord of the Flies. After that, the class played a bit of Scattegories, where as I continued to read.
[2nd pd]
Quiz on DNA replication. At the last 10 minutes of class, when every one had turned in their quiz, my teacher decided that it was story time. He had a student turn of one set of lights.
He told the story of a 100% non-violent man who suddenly one day goes up on top of a clock tower and shoots down 16 random people. Reason was that the cause of his madness was because of a tumor, resulted from cancer, that was caused by DNA replication gone wrong.
[Brunch]
Jenny came by. We talked a little bit.
" How's you and that guy you like? ", she asked.
I spotted Israel-senpai and replied back to Jenny,
"Its okay, just..-eh! "
Israel came over and Jenny left.
He came to tell me that he couldn't meet up with me after school due to practice and a check-in to the hospital. " I knew it! " , I fake-grinned and he frowned. But, it was okay since I was seeing him at the moment, knowing that I'd be missing him for the rest of the day.
We discussed about his dream, mainly revolving around mecha, technology, and Hatsune Miku.
Then we dropped to the main issue.
" I want you to do me a favor...I want you to stop putting yourself down."
I lamely argued back (which irritated him), but agreed (solution).
[passing bell to 3rd]
We hugged.
" I really..missed you."
" I missed you too."
Details : I pressed my body up against his, my chin rested against his shoulder.
We pulled away, bade farewell.
In the hallway, I turned around...
...called his name,
" Israel-senpai!",and said, " I love you. "
" I know you do", he replied, " I love you too "
I know you know
" 'I know you do' --- you said that last year! So rude! "
(referring to the time when I said, "I love you" and he simply responded with, " I know you do. ")
"Wha-- so, it just means that I know that you love me too."
"Whatever!Hmph!", I jokingly grinned back and walked to class.
[3rd pd]
Spent the time writing in my journal.
[4th pd]
Spent the time doing textbook work.
[Lunch]
Spent the time chatting with Han and Judy about the art of gymnastics, ballet, and ect. We also talked about dietary things-- like becoming a vegetarian.
Speaking of which, I received a few cookies from Judy, yay ^ u ^.
[Passing bell to 5th]
I walked too fast while kinda zoning out, which resulted in me tripping on a crack and scarping my knees. I immediately got up, " I gotta get to class", I got up, collected myself and dashed to class.
There wasn't a band aid suited for my left bleeding knee (the other was just scratched), so I pulled out a napkin from my bag and pressed it against my somewhat bloody knee.
[5th pd]
I worked with the napkin pressed down upon my left knee. Awesomely, I got my work done; plus, the bleeding stopped about 7 minutes into class. I was ready, with my stinging knees to walk in PE later.
Christine told me to get well soon :3
[6th pd]
Cross-country walk lap : first we walked behind the tennis court, around half of a field outside the track, around a fifth of the perimeter of the baseball field,and 2 laps on the track. I met up with Crystal-chan and Carolina-chan at the 2nd role call after our lap was done.
On our way back to the gym, I told Carolina about my habit of putting myself down, thinking from a narrow point of view, so narrow that I can't even see the good qualities of myself.
She told me, " Don't think like that, you're a very kind and caring person. OK, look-- you give stuff-gifts, origami to teachers, you say 'hello' to nearly everyone. You're a very special person."
I bobbed my head to her words. " Exactly the same things, Israel-senpai said."
...Scary.
I thanked her for the advice, glad to have her by my side.
In the gym, she read my journal (volume 12) as I wrote in volume 13.
[After school]
Cleaned up Ms.Sabado's classroom, she asked me if I had seen Israel yet and talked to him about the tutoring. I replied,
"Yep, he told me that he did the warm up and JUST the warm up today.
Well, that's a head start. I can do all of the work..and all he does is the warm up! Haha!"
She also told me that he had an 'F' in her class, and wishes him to get some help of some sort to raise his grade, ohh--she worries and I thought he had a 'C' or 'C-' of some sort.
After cleaning, I sat outside on a different bench,since there was a couple on the bench I normally sat on.
The air was calm, the sunlight glimmered through the leaves of the tree to my right. It was warm, I smiled at the sound of the chirping sparrows fluttering about. The wind shook hands with my side-bangs.
I left early at 4PM, my scraped knees were stinging with possible infection. Other than going the short way through a building, I went the slight-long way by walking from out of the parking lot to my left. It was only about 65 steps more than the short way. The sun shone brightly up ahead, the sky was utterly clear as evening was approaching.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
My day at Santa Cruz Beach.
In the beginning with Han,it was BORING AS FUCK (no offense Han).I later managed to meet up with Kim and Jenny.
We then went on some epic log-water-slide-ride.Jenny was in the front,I in the middle,and Kim in the back.When going down the water-slide-- Jenny leaned back against me,accidentally hitting my head with the back of her head > o <
Jenny was mostly soaked with water;I was merely splattered on the sides;Kim was barely in contact with the water.
Afterwords,we went to the beach.
I collected a few shells and a sand dollar.Kim and Jenny tried dragging me to the shallow ocean waves,eventually-I gave in (I fear being pulled in by the waves).
After going to the beach,we went out to eat at a pizza place.
I didn't eat any pizza,because I lost my appetite.After that,I went off with Kim and Jenny in town.We passed a homeless guy that was holding up a sign :
" NeedBEER food please"
We passed by the man again,but this time- I approached him,
" I don't have any food,but how about a hug?"
His face lit up,"Sure,okay."
We hugged,I felt a fragment of his memory slip into me-my body ached a little bit from the memory that was absorbed.It was one of his painful memories.
Kim,Jenny,and I walked around some more.
We ate some cheesecake ice cream,then I hugged the same homeless guy again.
..I think he wasn't homeless at all,he was probably just a man going through hardships that needed food and love.
I,not satisfied with just two hugs-approached the same man again.Before we hugged,I said,
" I have the ability to absorb memories with the people I come into contact with.You've been going through a lot. "
He smiled back and we hugged.Compared to the last two hugs,this hug was much warmer. 'Had my kindness touched his heart?' Like how the hell should I know.
But even so,he has a good heart.
Before we parted,I gave him my light green lucky bracelet,
"This is my lucky green bracelet,I used this on my exams."
He replied," Thank you,I will wear this,thank you."
"Take care,have a nice day"
"You too",he smiled back.
Today was a great day,minus the beginning.
I WISH I ASKED FOR THE GUY'S NAME THOUGH. D:
We then went on some epic log-water-slide-ride.Jenny was in the front,I in the middle,and Kim in the back.When going down the water-slide-- Jenny leaned back against me,accidentally hitting my head with the back of her head > o <
Jenny was mostly soaked with water;I was merely splattered on the sides;Kim was barely in contact with the water.
Afterwords,we went to the beach.
I collected a few shells and a sand dollar.Kim and Jenny tried dragging me to the shallow ocean waves,eventually-I gave in (I fear being pulled in by the waves).
After going to the beach,we went out to eat at a pizza place.
I didn't eat any pizza,because I lost my appetite.After that,I went off with Kim and Jenny in town.We passed a homeless guy that was holding up a sign :
" Need
We passed by the man again,but this time- I approached him,
" I don't have any food,but how about a hug?"
His face lit up,"Sure,okay."
We hugged,I felt a fragment of his memory slip into me-my body ached a little bit from the memory that was absorbed.It was one of his painful memories.
Kim,Jenny,and I walked around some more.
We ate some cheesecake ice cream,then I hugged the same homeless guy again.
..I think he wasn't homeless at all,he was probably just a man going through hardships that needed food and love.
I,not satisfied with just two hugs-approached the same man again.Before we hugged,I said,
" I have the ability to absorb memories with the people I come into contact with.You've been going through a lot. "
He smiled back and we hugged.Compared to the last two hugs,this hug was much warmer. 'Had my kindness touched his heart?' Like how the hell should I know.
But even so,he has a good heart.
Before we parted,I gave him my light green lucky bracelet,
"This is my lucky green bracelet,I used this on my exams."
He replied," Thank you,I will wear this,thank you."
"Take care,have a nice day"
"You too",he smiled back.
Today was a great day,minus the beginning.
I WISH I ASKED FOR THE GUY'S NAME THOUGH. D:
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Attending Ranyka-chan's B-day at the Mall
Colleen picked me up from my place at about 1:15pm,we arrived at the mall at about 1:25pm,and met up with Israel-senpai in the food court.This tall dude that goes by the name of Dominic later came,then Kevin-kun,Roosevelt,and Jennica-chan.Ranyka finally arrived at 2:30pm.As I waited,I folded cranes and took a nap.Colleen had to leave the moment Ranyka arrived D:
First,Jennica lead us to a Christian-store.Jennica got the store clerk to explain to the group what the store was about.The moment I heard the words "Christian" and "religion"--I tiptoed outta there with the theme of "The Pink Panther" playing in my head.
I plopped down on a nearby bench.I folded my legs,placed my folded hands on my lap and meditated.Ranyka and Kevin later met up with me a few minutes later at the bench.Then everyone else later came out of the store.
Afterwords,we went to the food court.The woman at the pretzel stand was constantly grinning at my childish features. o__o"
Ranyka decided to go get movie tickets.I told that I already purchased a ticket for "Water for the Elephants".A few other people wanted to go see another type of movie.Dilemma.
I told Ranyka that it was okay and I could get another ticket.Aimless confusion,dilemma.I sat down up against a nearby pillar and folded a heart.I went outside to get some fresh air.I went back inside and sat up against the same pillar.
Ranyka later came up to me saying that she bought movie tickets for "Water for the Elephants".
I asked if it was okay-she replied that she wanted to see the movie,but some of the others didn't.
The movie was alright,a slow paced opening,but the middle was pretty darn interesting.Minus Robert Pattison,I found the movie fairly enjoyable.
[The day in a summary]
Today was a good day.
First,Jennica lead us to a Christian-store.Jennica got the store clerk to explain to the group what the store was about.The moment I heard the words "Christian" and "religion"--I tiptoed outta there with the theme of "The Pink Panther" playing in my head.
I plopped down on a nearby bench.I folded my legs,placed my folded hands on my lap and meditated.Ranyka and Kevin later met up with me a few minutes later at the bench.Then everyone else later came out of the store.
Afterwords,we went to the food court.The woman at the pretzel stand was constantly grinning at my childish features. o__o"
Ranyka decided to go get movie tickets.I told that I already purchased a ticket for "Water for the Elephants".A few other people wanted to go see another type of movie.Dilemma.
I told Ranyka that it was okay and I could get another ticket.Aimless confusion,dilemma.I sat down up against a nearby pillar and folded a heart.I went outside to get some fresh air.I went back inside and sat up against the same pillar.
Ranyka later came up to me saying that she bought movie tickets for "Water for the Elephants".
I asked if it was okay-she replied that she wanted to see the movie,but some of the others didn't.
The movie was alright,a slow paced opening,but the middle was pretty darn interesting.Minus Robert Pattison,I found the movie fairly enjoyable.
[The day in a summary]
Today was a good day.
Friday, September 10, 2010
My Day [I will not type it up!]
Pd 1 :
The bitchy girls from yesterday weren't playing with us today so it was pretty fun playing flag football :D
Pd 2 :
SSR (Silent Sustained Reading),and read a little bit of roman story.
Pd 3 :
Student : Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher : Can I go to the bathroom(?)
Boy,where are your manners?And where is a bathroom?
Student : Can I go to the restroom?
Teacher : -shakes her head-
Student : May I go to the restroom?
Teacher : *sigh* yes,you may.
I finished writing my essay yesterday,on a blank sheet of printing paper.
Today,I showed it to my teacher.
My teacher said that I'm required to type it up.
So,I stood up to her,looked her in the eyes and said,
"Seriously-?Is it required just to type something up?"
She nodded,"Yes,and I hate it too.Its time consuming."
I continued looking into her eyes,"Well,since I've already written it..can I at least turn it in?"
She replied,"Yes,sure."
[If I stopped making eye contact,I would've ended up having to type it up o_o]
Later,there was an rally/assembly.
It was loud,crowded,and lousy.
I didn't like it.
Pd 4 :
Took a test,did a worksheet and finished my hw in time :D
Pd 5 :
Watched a movie and took notes.
Pd 6 :
Drew a tree.
The bitchy girls from yesterday weren't playing with us today so it was pretty fun playing flag football :D
Pd 2 :
SSR (Silent Sustained Reading),and read a little bit of roman story.
Pd 3 :
Student : Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher : Can I go to the bathroom(?)
Boy,where are your manners?And where is a bathroom?
Student : Can I go to the restroom?
Teacher : -shakes her head-
Student : May I go to the restroom?
Teacher : *sigh* yes,you may.
I finished writing my essay yesterday,on a blank sheet of printing paper.
Today,I showed it to my teacher.
My teacher said that I'm required to type it up.
So,I stood up to her,looked her in the eyes and said,
"Seriously-?Is it required just to type something up?"
She nodded,"Yes,and I hate it too.Its time consuming."
I continued looking into her eyes,"Well,since I've already written it..can I at least turn it in?"
She replied,"Yes,sure."
[If I stopped making eye contact,I would've ended up having to type it up o_o]
Later,there was an rally/assembly.
It was loud,crowded,and lousy.
I didn't like it.
Pd 4 :
Took a test,did a worksheet and finished my hw in time :D
Pd 5 :
Watched a movie and took notes.
Pd 6 :
Drew a tree.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
My Day [PE - Bleachers..YEAH!]
Today in PE it was girls vs girls,boys vs boys in flag football.
On one side I was there,on the other side I wasn't there because there were a bunch of bitchy girls.
They were showing off and what-not.
Thinking they're all-that and blabbering that Asian girls suck at sports (UGH.It doesn't matter what race, stupid. =__=)
So,the girls on the team I was on pulled back,turned away and went off to run bleachers.
I ran the bleachers too,there's no use in playing against ignorant women o3o
On one side I was there,on the other side I wasn't there because there were a bunch of bitchy girls.
They were showing off and what-not.
Thinking they're all-that and blabbering that Asian girls suck at sports (UGH.It doesn't matter what race, stupid. =__=)
So,the girls on the team I was on pulled back,turned away and went off to run bleachers.
I ran the bleachers too,there's no use in playing against ignorant women o3o
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